Wednesday, April 28, 2021

she's the third and he was a liar

 "there must be a circle of hell, where you are given everything you've ever wanted and it doesn't make you any happier" - Chris Leja; cocaine  

the closest concept I could get to was the talk about the "void" in the church group, which is the theory that we all have this giant depressing hole inside of us that we must try to fill before we die, but I will spend the rest of my life denying that the hippy-dippy answer is "Jesus". because it's not, the answer isn't love, sex, money, or drugs and it sure as hell isn't a talking cloud. this shitty fucking void is just the abyss, all the unknown factors of the world that we will try every fucking day to fill and complete and shove into our tiny shrinking bodies but will never give ourselves the satisfaction of being full. there forever will be more want, and I know the answer is probably being able to "accept yourself" or "understand your purpose". I'm simply just too stubborn to ever even consider trying to.

I must have manifested this void when I tried to use witchcraft to make myself invisible or when I filled my 2016 dairy with the scripted meanspo. 

lol 

i don't like anything about hannah 

i think that poem applies to my whole understanding of her.

this page isn't coordinated, 

kat       bird  










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